On the last day of his holiday James showed Sora a secret, he could make clouds with a metal thingy (as Sora called it.) When Sora saw it, it was in a circular shape.James stepped up to the big metal thingy and did a big blow.The air went through the hoop and when it came out the other side it was a fluffy white cloud .
When it was Soras turn he took a big breath and "thooooo" there right in front of him there was a little cloud . It was as small as a ant compared to James's.Sora was discouraged,he took one more breath .But Sora was leaning to hard on the pole.The position of the pole bent and fell over ,when Sora stood back up he realised that he had ruined it the "look on James face will hurt me for life"Sora thought as he saw the look on James's face.
Sora felt sorry for James so he said "let's try to make different shapes"."I'll give it a shot " said James.First they made a star then they made a bunny then a heart they had great fun that day and they were never sad again .
By Beth
By Beth
Hi Beth, I enjoyed reading your story and I could see that you have used some similes. Could you think of some more language features you could use?
ReplyDeleteAlso I like how you have used paragraphs for each event after we learned about that this week. Well done!
You might want to edit that second paragraph as well.